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Living in the south, where things can get a little back woods, I thought I knew a thing or two about living with bugs. Since arriving in the campo, I realize that I did not know nothin’

I now wake up in the morning to spiders as big as my hand next to my bathroom mirror. They don’t faze me anymore. I have been bitten by so many insects that my arms now resemble that of an 8 year old boy, full of battle wounds from the play ground. Some bites just itch, other leave a rash, and some seriously make you bleed.

Little harmless beetle looking bugs that make you feet feel like they are fire. Or these prehistoric looking ants with horns and pinchers that will seriously bomb dive you with their fangs unprovoked. Thank God my friends here are super quick to smash these ones into pieces before I am attacked. There are stealth bugs, that keep leaving their mark but I have yet to see. I even have holes in my clothes from moths.

The good news is that these bugs are not poisonous…well the spiders at least. The only truly dangerous ones are the truly universal bother, those damn mosquitoes. There are two types: The ones that carry Dengue Fever (or Break Bone Fever, a fever so strong that you literally feel like every in your body is broken) that bite in the morning, and the ones that carry Malaria that bite in evening, (or vice versa).

I take all the proper precautions to protect myself from these freaking things. Long sleeves, giant BComplex pills each morning, Chalk tasting Aralen with its psychedelic dreams every Sunday, jeans, sweaters and socks in this tropical weather, and of course repellant.

I would think they’d see me bundled up, itching, sweating, trying to roll my R’s and say “hey, this one’s really trying guys, let’s leave her alone besides, did you hear her Spanish? I think she might be a little crazy—we only want top notch sangre.” But no, let me tell ya, these mosquitoes have NO respect for effort. I have been bitten by mosquitoes, through my clothes even my jeans, and also on my lips, the palms of my hands, bottoms of my feet, in between toes and fingers, and God forbid I have to pee in the middle of the night.  Sometimes I get bit so much I just want to crawl into the fetal position and cry out YOU WIN!

People here assure me it’s is just because I have nueva carne and eventually they will get used to me and lose interest. So I will get used and then rejected. Who knew? Mosquitoes: the playaz of the insect world.